Consistency is the keyword in being consistently bad, Sarfaraz Ahmed

After suffering defeat at the hands of the archrivals, India, Sarfaraz Ahmad highlighted the major takeaways from the World Cup performance in a press conference at Lord’s.

“We have achieved the best thing that the western teams have managed to do so well,” Sarfaraz commented on the poor performance of the national team, “and that is being consistent.” Sarfaraz credited this achievement to the decades of consistently poor governance in the country. “The fact that every government has carried out consistently substandard operations was our enabler. In a unified effort, we have let you down in the stock market, the railway development and now we have managed to lower the expectations from the cricket team as well.”

“We are not worried about the social media outcry,” Sarfaraz continued, “the pattern is all too familiar. It’s the five stages of grief. Alhumdulillah, the public does not even go through denial now. They jump straight to anger. Another loss and they will accept once and for all that there is no need to get the hopes high in the first place.”

“For too long we’ve been known as the ‘unpredictable’, but the word has such a negative connotation attached to it. Are any of the leading cricket teams unpredictable? No. So we decided to disassociate from this distinction and find some stability; this is the first step towards the reformation.”

Commenting on the poor batting performance, Sarfaraz said, “last time we checked, 250 was an above par score for ODIs. Nobody told us that scoring 300+ is the median now. I attribute this to the lack of social media presence of our players. Hopefully, when Ahmed Shehzad and Umar Akmal return to the team, we’ll catch up on the common practices these days.”

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