Armed forces to make voluntary cuts in the civilian budget

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and once again the brave protectors of the country have taken the responsibility of bringing Pakistan out of the economic crisis. In an inspirational tweet, DG ISPR expressed that the Armed Forces stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the civilian institutions and will make no compromise in cutting their budget for the sake of austerity.

The federal government is expected to show great generosity to Higher Education Commission by cutting only 40 percent of their budget in the coming fiscal year. “An educated person is not greedy,” PM Imran Khan said in a televised address to the nation, “then why should the education commission be?”

The budget was presented by Hammad Azhar, the State Minister for Revenue because the country could not find a full-time finance minister. Addressing to this, Fawad Chaudhry said that a part-time finance minister was hired through Fiver, but unfortunately, he was busy making assignments for a kid in Australia to maintain credibility on the freelancing site. “People say our ways are unusual; that’s because they are new. The freelance market will bring us out of the economic turmoil,” he claimed, “we paid 0.8 rupees per word to the freelancer who wrote the budget report. The money saved could be spent on the installation of Pentium IIIs in the IT ministry.”

The budget speech proposes that the Pakistani enterprises will become part of the global value chain and increase in custom duties will be imposed to position Pakistan as the globe itself. The PM pronounced that Pakistan is blessed with all four seasons and all kinds of skin colors; there is no point in trading in the global market. Instead, Pakistan will embody the whole globe itself.

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