Imran Khan vows to dissolve cricket team if they don’t win the World Cup under his tenure

The highly anticipated Cricket World Cup 2019 has launched and it’s the hot topic of conversation all across the country. While the Friday’s barbaric loss against West Indies successfully managed to meet the low expectations of the spectators, PM Imran Khan assured the nation that the worst is yet to come.

“Look. I’m personally looking over the performance of the team,” said the Premier while talking about the national team’s World Cup preparation, “and if they can’t win under my leadership, they can’t win at all.”

As mentioned by the fierce leader in every speech, Pakistan’s only World Cup victory came under Imran Khan’s leadership too. But he’s afraid that the ’92 World Cup victory has depreciated in value and might not be enough to win the next general election.

“Winning is my motto,” Khan commented “and I’ve won every single time except for the times that I didn’t. If I cannot deliver this World Cup to my nation, then what would have I done for my nation during my tenure? No seriously, my next election campaign majorly depends on this victory.”

With tensions across the border on the rise and economic downturn, Pakistan is in deep waters. The Prime Minister assured that, unlike his predecessors, he is doing a great job and people should take his word for it.

When asked about the growing criticism on his performance, Khan Sahib expressed that the majority of his critics are straight men and they fail to notice his charm and good looks. “These people are living in the past,” he replied, “the future is lean and handsome.” He said that the future prospect seems great for the country as he will be reigning over the nation for many years. “I’m a leader, a leader is there to lead and since I’m a leader, I will continue to lead.”

Sarcasmistan is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.