Napoleon Bonaparte, standing tall at 5 feet and 7 inches, says that he might be short but he’s not “short in strength.” Addressing to a band of his friends on the night of his marriage in 1796, Napoleon said “laugh all you desire! But history will remember me for my conquests, not my short height.” However, despite winning a series of colossal wars, history did remember him for his famously short height.
“To be honest, the Siege of Toulon was the perfect preamble to my actual strength,” Napoleon commented on his first ever showcase of military genius in 1793, “and if there is one lesson the British should remember from their defeat, it’s: don’t mess with a short guy. Because, I tell you, I have the tallest brain.”
“Some people accuse me of abandoning my army in Egypt to lay a coup d’etat back home in France,” Napoleon commented, “but the fact of the matter is, I saw Murad Bey – the Egyptian cavalry commander and joint ruler – from a distance and he seemed like a reasonably short man. I couldn’t fight against my own kind, could I?”
“But these height discriminatory Europeans wouldn’t understand now, would they? So I had to do it to ‘em,” Napoleon added, “and thus, I acted against the forces of Second Coalition and really showed them what a short man is capable of.”
“The formation of the Third Coalition is the definitive proof of bias against short people. The more I won, the more they kept coming. I saw each Coalition as a representation of every foot of my height, and it was only fitting that I would lose to the Sixth Coalition, I don’t have the sixth foot.”
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