Uncle from the UK comes home to preach patriotism and religion to nephews

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Yep, it’s that time of the year. Mr. Siraj, who has been living in Birmingham for the past 25 years, made his annual trip to Pakistan this Monday. His UK friends tell us that Siraj is a loyal customer of Adidas and is never seen without their sneakers and tracksuit, but ever since his arrival, he hasn’t worn anything but shalwar-kurta.

“If there is one country in this world that I love from the bottom of my heart, it’s Pakistan,” Siraj expressed, “I was born and raised here, and I want to die here as well, but I’m a sick man. If I stay here I would die too soon.”

Loyal customer of The Wellingtons bar on the Bennetts Hill Street, Siraj said that despite him being in a western country for many years, he’s never abandoned his cultural and religious values. “I’m a patriotic, religious man and I’ve raised my children that way too,” Siraj professed proudly, “my youngest son Adam prays 5 times a day and my beautiful daughter Candice is Pakistani to the bone.”

Siraj, who was known as the ‘bearded paki lover’ on Soho Road in his 30s, told his nephews how lucky they are to live in Pakistan instead of some western country. “I tell you, kids, I would trade anything to be able to spend the rest of my days here,” Siraj said to his nephews, “don’t you guys ever be ungrateful for this country. This country is better than any western country; I can tell you this because I’ve spent most of my adult life away from here.”

“You think the energy crisis, inflation, unemployment, and terrorism is a problem? Wait till you have to see women with bare legs roaming around in the streets. Now that’s a problem.”

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